023_LOST

LOST INSIDE - FOUND INSIDE (behind the sweaty forehead of a child) I step inside me, back there where I'm just a child and I watch where all of me with all body is trying to save LOVE despite everybody's against it. I watch myself behind my back listen to the quiet breathing hear the loud desire catching lost screams... I watch the firm Will, and see helpless tears streaming down with a stubborn promise delivered to my heart… almost like a threat. I follow the whisper and conversation within sweaty forehead thinks thoughts I know - oh, so well! And the boy, he thinks he is alone... that nobody hears. Nobody of this world. I don't offer him my hand I don't embrace his little shoulders I don't kiss his sweaty forehead and eyebrows don't look in his eyes I don't comfort him… What can I give him!? I deserted him alone like the thief and the traitor escaping into adulthood ripped apart by doubts. I don't have his determination and even less his certainty. I embrace myself across my chest I squeeze hard and then harder… I let the scream out! I call for help - I CALL MY NAME! I want him to guide me, he knows where, he knows how