026_THE GAP

Money is just a symbol for something. Very powerful, I think the most powerful so far… but still – just a symbol.
When I hear the word “money” I automatically start thinking what’s this symbol about (which simply means - I am afraid of this symbol! Afraid if I have money or not! Afraid, as long as I don’t know what I want to do with this money)

But enough of my ball and chain and back to our civilization's balls in chains!
For the time being this symbol suits us perfectly!
Until we figure out what is it that we want (I mean what we truly WANT) the symbol remains strong – in us!
So, we believe everything will be ok again as soon as we are back on our way as before. When our past habits return and everything is back as it was, we’ll be alright. I mean we’ll be poor and rich…. something we know a lot about. On both sides of this division (gap, cause the GAP it is!)

The ones without any money envy those with money! Which is alright bc we can deal with it. Even when we can't deal with this – we envy! And we can deal with envy or think we can.

As long as this symbol money represents remains strong, we will know how to deal with life. But what if…?

So, we support it. We think… better support it! In any way, we can.

We bail the banks, we’ll do anything to keep this symbol strong. Money is the one symbol we care to keep strong.
If it’s weak we “heal” it. We do it in the most incredible ways.
We create victims that will pay the price (with death and misfortune, losing their pensions and homes and their savings) so we can save our “weak” god – money!
We have to have it strong! God cannot be weak…. (fuck, My God is weak… that’s why I love Him! He is like me).

We are saving god-money!
It means sacrificing some, perhaps even many in the name of this god we need so strong and powerful and almighty (everything that My God isn’t, btw! Everything that I am not! I believe, humanity is like me).

All to keep this god alive!

I was thinking - even the thieves are somewhat honest. Or they'd like to be.
They don’t steal money because they want to keep stealing for the rest of their lives. They steal it to become normal, respectable, honest!
They dream of going straight. They want to be straight and honest. Or they would "steal" a cab fare by not paying this service when they need it. 

No! They want to be like everybody else and pay for it like everybody else! Like any average, honest citizen.
 They want to buy a car, not steal it! Even when they steal cars for living… they are after money that will make them “honest” because they will buy things with the money!

They want to buy all this as any other rich person does.
So - they steal money. Money makes you honest!
Symbols make people honest in a symbolic (not real) ways.

So, this symbol perfectly satisfies us until it remains strong. So we keep it strong for costs. Whatever it needs – we will do it! There is no other God – is there!
Or is there?
It's all about money anyway.

The truth is somewhat different. When we invest in something, we ALWAYS invest emotions.
Even when it comes down to “it’s only money”, it’s not money – it’s EMOTIONS. WE invest emotions.
In the USA you have a wonderful phrase: put your money where your mouth is.
The rest of the world doesn’t have even that. You probably don’t know what I mean here but if you lived in the world of institutionalized LIE for so many years, you would know too! 
It's called - socialism! Socialism is a planned production of deficiency to enable the regime to re-distribute "poverty" in the way it sees fit.

Things cannot be resolved on a symbolic level!

Symbols are merely masks of our reality; they lie to us, deceive us, guide us in wrong directions – that’s why we create them and that’s why we support symbols. When they become weak we intensify our “religion” and allegiance to our symbols. We find it only natural.

Symbols must be resolved and clarified in a way that connects us to the Beginning when they started!
 When symbols were formed.

They must lead us back to our Origin, where the “real” was swapped for symbolic and got lost (the forgotten or lost Pain of denial!). I believe that we needed a BODY to recall everything we had once lost, mostly the ability to learn about us!. Now we have it. We have a body.

We were then confounded by symbols and we found the Real to be a bit too real for us to carry!
We were kids, for god’s sake!!!

That’s when we stopped trusting our First Parents.
Who didn't have the parents of their own to teach them!

I remember the exact moment this happened to me here with my parents. I questioned myself now, as a grown person, what happened to me as a baby in yet non-verbal stage of life. Why and when I stopped trusting (believing in everything she says or does) my mother?
It had to do with shit (which in my mind is the symbol for money).

I was freshly bathed, cleanly washed, and – naked! (naked means no symbols on me). She put clean me in the middle of a snow-white clean sheet on the double bed!
I was in the middle of it, happy, screaming with joy.
FREEDOM was intoxicating, I felt HAPPY, freedom exploded in me…. so relaxing….
And then I defecated.
I shit on this clean, vast, white surface! Leaving my mark in the Universe!

I produced a wonderful, powerful proof of my health, living steaming proof of my strength, my productivity, my creativity, my talent….

I was proud! I wanted to say: Look mommy – look at me! Look what I have done….

But she was angry. I could see it in her face and I didn’t know why! Why couldn’t she share my happiness?!
That was the moment the gap between me and her was created.

I didn’t understand why. Hell, on her side of truth this meant cleaning it all up – again!
Repeating the job (she probably had other things to do). But for me, it meant: well, I see she doesn’t appreciate me…
she doesn’t want me to be happy….
So there is something wrong with her (not me, hell – no! I am HAPPY…. How could that be wrong?!)

 In my mind it imprinted this:
the grownups think (feel) differently than I feel (and then think).
I cannot trust them all the time. So, I will have to save some of my memories and wait for a better moment. When I grow up I’ll understand how they think (feel). (I learned they think, not feel!).

The good side of it is – I then became dual!
I kept with me the thinking and the feeling part of me.  Practically I started taking care of me, while the expressing part of me was an act that others would accept. I took good care of me. Only I knew that I have a child inside and that I couldn’t live without it if I gave him up like others do. Never met anyone talking about inner child til much, much later on!

In short: I kept my shit together!

The symbolic life means a relationship that has not evolved.
Since this relationship never happened it was replaced by its symbol. Symbols have symbolic reactions and people deal with it because they can learn it. So they don’t get punished!

The real self they keep inside until it is no longer theirs. That’s the GAP.
A direct relationship is being replaced by symbolic expression.
Nobody seems to miss true relationships because it seems it is easier to live a sYmbolic life on the symbolic level. The relationship we needed never happened, it just wasn't there!

For some reason, the normal response to the stimulus and normal expressions were suppressed. It became unimportant.
Never developed! So – WE never developed fully. This would otherwise come naturally, to react fully and truthfully…  and it would be logical as a response, appropriate.
The communication should be normal and our speech would be truthful, no lies involved!
So why did the usual communication changed to a symbolic one?
That's what we have to be interested in!

In an individual, the cause of this anomaly is traumas from our childhood! In mankind, it is the interrupted dialog with our God, Creator(s), First Dad and Mom!

The word religion is equivalent to relig(āre).
In Latin: to tie, fasten. 
RUOW terminology says: healing the GAP!
But first, we need to trust the One on the other side of the gap. And the one on this side of the gap as well.

025_WHO'S WINNING

What if I'm God and you are just wardens in your prison cells,

closed deep in dark dungeons of your mind, torturing everything that is mine in you... 

You have been playing a wicked game with me, never letting me out to be free in your world, never showing me Freedom...

What am I doing to you if I am God?!       

I fight for my own Life in you - if I am God!

----

Where does this come from if not out of me and my experiences in this world!? Where is it from if not from His experiences with me.

Matter is the sum of all experiences in the Universe!

Man always thought inspirations come from above.

They come from within, out of his depths, his body, from the Matter.

They come from the aura of this planet, and Her Pain.

Besides incredible beauty it expresses the yearning of harshness of this world we live in now and have to live with - until we change it. It will change for us gladly if we only allow it.

024_GRATEFUL - FOR WHAT?

The warrior steps on his buddy's head and pushes himself off his brother in arms' dead body - when this latter falls in battle for the common goal. No mercy here! No respect for the dead, no fear for the ones who die in the battle. This is how we decided long before we went to fight this merciless War together.
So, I step on the top of the head of your most venerated one, the precious and blessed one… This very one is now watching my back, shouting orders to me, over my shoulder.
I desecrate his past work by not appreciating enough my idol - this is what he wants! I am not grateful enough for what my co-combatants have accomplished during their lives. I don't appreciate enough how they lived their lives or how they led the battle… I study their mistakes, enjoy when I discover the flaw in their tactics for I won't repeat them! Whoever they are, I hear their screams now. I hear them giving me new orders, always new ones. They say: Don't think, don't hesitate my darling! Keep climbing this hill, attack, attack!!! Keep on moving, don't avoid anything and anybody and never hesitate!
On and on I hear their voices… Stop trembling now, don't fear anything, keep your hand steady, stop the heart doubting, don't let your eye miss...
I fight against everybody. There is no friend here, my heart is my only friend. The only brother - my heart! A friend in the battle. The heart is the only commander in chief - I AM the heart!
Against everybody. Against my fellow braves, I fight even more fiercely because my heart commands it!
I look for a flaw that made them lose their lives, I break, I open, I destroy! Even worse! I browse through their books and spit on them! I take their most sacred lines, the heart of their heart, and humiliate them. I insult them - before I kill them! I call them names even when they die on my hands when my buddies in the battle for our common goal die on my hands.
I beat the dead. I kick their dead bodies even when they're lifeless, I want to be sure they didn't forget to give me directions, show me something, giving me the last detail… Maybe they will come back, change their minds and stay here with me… Some more time, some more life. Until the next defeat!
I trouble their long deserved rest. I provoke them and poke them with questions like: didn't you have enough, huh!?
I don't ask why all this… nor where is this taking me. My Heart wants it and My Heart knows no mercy! He wants to know WHY and won't stop till he knows. In 1992 I wrote this for my fellow warriors for Truth. All of the past and present! And I write this for You too! There is somewhere all my respect and disrespect in there. Respect and disrespect for the Dead who dominate this world. What you have lifted – now put back down! The Dead are breathing YOUR air.

023_LOST

LOST INSIDE - FOUND INSIDE (behind the sweaty forehead of a child) I step inside me, back there where I'm just a child and I watch where all of me with all body is trying to save LOVE despite everybody's against it. I watch myself behind my back listen to the quiet breathing hear the loud desire catching lost screams... I watch the firm Will, and see helpless tears streaming down with a stubborn promise delivered to my heart… almost like a threat. I follow the whisper and conversation within sweaty forehead thinks thoughts I know - oh, so well! And the boy, he thinks he is alone... that nobody hears. Nobody of this world. I don't offer him my hand I don't embrace his little shoulders I don't kiss his sweaty forehead and eyebrows don't look in his eyes I don't comfort him… What can I give him!? I deserted him alone like the thief and the traitor escaping into adulthood ripped apart by doubts. I don't have his determination and even less his certainty. I embrace myself across my chest I squeeze hard and then harder… I let the scream out! I call for help - I CALL MY NAME! I want him to guide me, he knows where, he knows how

022_WILL TO LIVE

WILL TO LIVE

It seems much too early to claim one or the other, whether the virus is a hoax or not!

In any case, we need to be careful and take care of ourselves. Self-isolation seems to work best because we don't need to inject unknown substances in our body, simply believing that we need to or have to – to survive. Anyway: precaution is necessary and more than welcome!

It wouldn't be wise to ban somebody's opinions like David Icke's because his opinions are very relevant, verys interesting and not stupid at all!

In the end, we might even see that there are more COVID viruses, genetically modified and targeted on a certain race, age, social organization (a state with a clear political change tendency that the Masters of war don't like)… in short the populace with which Soros and EU have different plans than letting them decide for themselves (Free Will).

Viruses can be created for certain purposes and of political nature that we don't (yet!) know.

But some kind of global hoax is there and we can sense it! When this first wave (because there'll be more waves and each one worst than the previous one, I am sure of it!) will subside we will know which are their real goals (Gates, Soros, Merkel, Macron, Conte in Italy, Clintons….)

They don't like our freedom.

They want us to become their slaves. Then again… not many people on the Planet want to be free anymore. They just want to be financially supported (infantile – if you ask me!). This all leads to dependency on the systems and enslaving mankind.

It seems more and more that the real question is do they want to kill ALL Free Will or keep some alive only to place it in reservations to study it – and then kill it!

But what they do not know is: LIFE is not possible without Free Will!. Free Will is the Mother of ALL things. She ran away to hide here. Then Dark forces with Dark Intent waited till some of us who couldn't live without Her followed Her and found Her. Then they followed us us because they knew we would take them to Mother.

And then they are trying to enslave Her and kill He ever since.

WE feel what they are doing. We feel guilty because we couldn't live without Her. We thought that if we didn't search fior Her She would have survived, so we think we are killing Her… This is what Lucifer is suggesting: that we try to kill our Mother! We are just too coward and don't do it. He, on the other hand, is a brave one and he will kill Her. WE just have to assist him in doing it.

Lucifer wants us to enjoy while he humiliates us. I can watch it happening here, in my country! That's what communism is about, In 70 years the regime succeeded in making people believe that the loss of human lives (your people!) is necessary fort he regime to survive and people sm die with the smile on their faces.

It seems nobody appreciates Freedom anymore! Or Free Will.

Doesn't this prove that many don't want to live anymore? Maybe it is not the virus, maybe it is lack of Free Will, the will to live and embrace LIFE that is killing us!

If we wanted Freedom we should (and could) have thought to provide it for everybody in past periods (those without coronavirus!) - and we didn't!

Global fascism, that's how David Icke calls it. That's what it is!

One more thing:

Executioners come when they sense your lack of will to live.

They upgrade your intention to die with killing you.

But it's always you to open the door to your killer. It's you who give them the secret sign, saying: it's ok... you can come!

In EU this secret sign is "human rights".

021_TWO BIRDS

TWO BIRDS Heart is a bird and so is Freedom. It feels natural that Heart yearns for Freedom. because without her… Heart cannot l i v e. But if Heart becomes cage to Freedom It is also natural for Freedom to run! She cannot be free until Heart is a prison because Freedom can't f l y. If then Heart yearns for her presence let Him yearn from afar. Let's call it - a SAFETY DISTANCE! So it must be until the two square their misunderstandings and tell each other old resentments. and when they level all this… they'll leave doors and windows open to each other – no questions asked, no limitations, to visit as much as they want to. And yearn! Then they'll say goodbye and seek and find each other again… in short - they'll l i v e and teach us to live. ABOUT HEART AND FREEDOM Sometime, long ago, Heart killed Freedom inside him because He couldn't or shouldn't, live with her. They even said He wasn't supposed to live with her! When Heart killed Freedom He didn't know How to live. Without Freedom, He couldn't survive. Freedom never forgot nor forgave! So it seems that sometimes just for the fun of it, hits Heart in the face! To remind Him, to remember. It has woman's hand and her blow isn't strong. After the anger here there reproach, mild and soft, strong is embrace – after, and tears – those are intense. And so it will be until it is clear to Heart where He belongs and forgives himself, to have killed Freedom, who just like Heart cannot die forever. Is this a sin? Is this sin at all, I ask?!

****

DECEPTION Unprecedented is the crime of Heart, who kills Freedom inside him. With it kills the innocence of a child and gives birth to Responsibility. What should a child do with it, so alone so God - to himself? Responsibility is a reward for lost Innocence, the reward is penalty and the sentence is - growing up! DISPAIR Buried under my sadness I haven't noticed that with Her I lost two of my unborn children too! Their names are Faith and Trust. More than lost, I never let them be born! WITH MY HEAD IN MY HANDS AND WITH HEART ON THE FLOOR I gave birth to two monsters, with same names but completely without any content! Trust became banking business and Faith became clergy, two deformed creatures, Motherless bastards, who were supposed to become - FREEDOM! What should I - poor me! - do now so alone and helpless, without Her!? I killed Her in my Heart, with children without Her unable to love and live…

020_THE BITCH IS PSYCHOTIC

The woman is a creature who carries an enormous amount of tragic events that happened and are happening on Earth. Nobody else would or can.
That’s her job! She is expected to perform this “act” automatically and without complaining. That’s why she is here.

All this tragedy massed up together is manifesting through a woman.
This is how it expresses or may express! Only through a woman!
IT can express to a certain point, and only if it stays there and repeats its circle of Pain inside Her to infinity… Like some deadly radiation in an abandoned nuclear plant! It should stay there…
Nobody sees it, nobody hears it, and nobody listens to her screams.

It is not her fault. She saw it too much, she saw what she saw and she didn't like it. Too much to bear is too much to bear even for her who has to bear with nearly anything.

She used to freak a long time ago, but then it backlashed her.
Then, when her madness subsided (well, it doesn’t go away by itself, they usually make it go away) she was sentenced to thinking. Again!

It's not always a pleasant way to think. She’d rather no to!
Sometimes she'd just like to take a nap… and then sleep... Sleep and forget.
And then sleep some more and sleep and perhaps dream… And forget again.

 Nobody is counting the times she thought killing all children would be the best solution for all but then… who would come after her? Who would fulfill her dream?

She’d be left alone, remain alone ti infinity. No hope that that someday somebody will understand her and look for her!
She thought nobody would ever come.

No one will hear me, no one will ever understand me… she thinks.
You see, you get used to nearly anything. Torturing, slowly dying in a concentration camp, to be raped constantly, you can even get used to your husband’s beating…. but you can’t get used to LONELINESS.
You never can get used to loneliness.

God created so he wouldn’t be alone anymore – did you know that!? He created in defense... then Mother placed beauty in it. And joy! Sprinkled it with Love… That was before!

Now she thinks: should I tell them that I only love some of them, some of my children, that I love some more than I love others? That I love some others less?
What choice is this? Sophie’s??

When creatures are born, mother gives them body. She does it the best she can and knows how. Most of the time she really is psychotic, but despite of all the hysteria - at spring the grass grows!
 The forests are green again and the trees are exuberant. In autumn - they bear fruits! 
When the time comes animals give birth to their little ones and the rain falls on dried land. The sun warms the frozen ground!
In short: despite Her insanity, despite unbearable Pain - this bitch functions! She delivers!

Her children seem to be spoiled brats, and quite often suicidal too (like their Mother!). The psychotic bitch thinks: This is all my fault… it is because I am such a bossy bitch…. how could they be any different with their Mother like that?!

So she is accepting every sentence her children make to judge her.
She thinks castigation comes from God. God wants it so He punishes her. Even her children are a punishment.
 The Church is letting this know to her every day of her miserable life. Each word coming from them is blame thrown in her face like Spirit would do it if She was still in heaven with Him.
They are here to remind her of that. They do His job here instead of Him.

 It doesn’t bounce from Her and goes away. It stays with her and forms the expression on her face! She is now old and ugly, cranky and tired.

She is desperate to fight for those she loves. She knows they can’t do it without Her. And She knows She can’t do it without them involved in her fight!
 She must know they want to live. Maybe they don’t want to live… maybe this is why everything went wrong on Earth?

So She fights for the animals, many don't understand Her here. Animals have instincts mankind has lost…
They think She is a fool. But in madness, everything becomes a trap. Everything is a stakeout, every sound is noise and every voice…. a warning that it may get worse than it already is – a sign that the worst hasn’t even begun to take real shape. Horror is still waiting!
She is psychotic, alright! There’s no doubt about it.

But She's still giving, something comes from her... She delivers! She does what Life needs to continue. It may not be perfect, it may not be what She always desired… but Life survives because of Her! Bad as it is – it survives.

Now, try and imagine those in parliaments who play Democracy on somebody else's fatigues!
Democracy can only exist where there some things function constantly and roles are being played no questions asked!
Like Nature.

It can exist until we are certain that the grass will go green again in spring and rain will keep watering the ground and the trees will bear fruit.
And we count on roles being played on all levels. We count that there will always be electric power and there will be a stock of food safely stored in your refrigerator.
We must count on animals and animal instincts that they'll multiply and herds will grow bigger. and the butchers will slaughter them.
In short - Democracy is based on blood and meat and bones of those who are ready to offer their head for us so we survive… and so they play the role and fulfill their commitment EVERY TIME.
That's what Democracy is about!
This too is self-understood in every society.

Until you can slaughter a living creature, a being that was born to be slaughtered, you can feed all those who were born to invent democracy and then re-invent it when it doesn't work. Because more people die when democracy doesn't work, or maybe just different creatures die when it does!

But what happens if suddenly things weren't so self-understood anymore!?
What if »a psychotic bitch« doesn't make the grass go green again? What if… Mother takes away electricity and power? What if tree rebels and refuses giving fruit?
What if the animals go crazy if they get sick with some virus unknown to humans, who can fight us and mutate… and we can't touch their flesh anymore…

Do you then kill vegans and put them into a freezer?
And just how long do you think you will be doing this if Mother took away electric power?

What then!?

Then you will have to rely on the bitch not being too crazy and will despite her madness, give us something to eat!
So, say hello to Her and ask her if you are her child too.

'Cuse if you're not, let Her then tell you WHOSE CHILD YOU ARE